"Be still and know that I am God..." But I don't want to....

[TechnoEthicist]

Hello brothers and sisters,

I come to you with an anxious heart. As many of you know I am currently working on my doctoral program in Measurement and Evaluation. As I started taking classwork though, I realized my heart is really with Higher Education research, not testing and measurement. As such, I applied to the Higher Ed program on campus, but they only have three openings. Hearing all of this, my program decided not to renew my funding next fall...so this Spring might be my last semester for awhile...Trying to stay positive. Trying to remember it was God who got me here in the first place, and put these interests in me, and placed with good friends and work around us...but at the same time I am in my little corner trying to make sense of it all...I am supposed to be informed by March whether or not I am accepted and I really want this time to be a great growing experience rather than a begrudging one....any prayers, support, and advice are coveted... Be well!

[Prof Underwood]

It seems to me that you love helping kids succeed in their education who would struggle otherwise.  It also seems to me that you have enough degrees to start doing this already.  So why spend the time an money getting more degrees anyway?  Why not just start doing what you are called to do?

Just thinking out loud...

[uthminister [BR]]

In your weakness God is strong...so I am confident He will walk you through this difficulty as he has the hundreds before it. Praying for you bro!

[SomeKittens]

God's giving you an opportunity to learn patience.  I don't like it either, but He will cause it to blossom in His time.

[YourMathTeacher]

"Seek first His Kingdom and His Righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you." (forgot the reference)

At some point in the near future you will look back at this time and wonder why you were ever worried. Getting from here to there is always the hard part, but that is how "faith" is defined. No matter how much I say that I trust God, I find myself too often being stressed about the things I know He will take care of anyway. The most difficult part about faith is that we don't see things the way God sees them.

My advice: Don't try to "make sense of it all." That's not how God works. It will make sense after God completes the work in you. Until then, just have faith that God's Plan is the better plan for you, your wife, and any future TechnoKiddies.

[Korunks]

You have my prayers and support.  If you need anything you know where to find me.  I will pray for him to show you where he wants you to be.  I know last time this situation showed up in my life, I fretted so much I almost missed the chance to move.  And looking at everything that has happened since I moved to MD I am so glad that I eventually stilled enough to hear his will.  Be still and know he is God. 

[3-Liner And Bags Of Chips]

I just hope that God blesses you in everything that you do.I'm praying...

[TechnoEthicist]

Learned today I was not accepted into the program, so as of May I am no longer a doctoral student..trying not to feel ashamed or a failure...but its really hard right now...so many hours invested that right now feel like a waste..so much uncertainties...thanks for hearing me out...

[Prof Underwood]

I am no longer a doctoral student..trying not to feel ashamed or a failure...

One of my favorite movies is "Cool Runnings" about the Jamaican Olympic bobsled team.  There is a line in there where the coach is talking to the team captain about what it feels like to win a gold medal.  He says, "If you are not enough without the gold medal, you'll never be enough with one."  I think the same thing could apply to having extra letters like PhD next to your name.

For what it's worth, I wouldn't like you or respect you any more if you earned those letters, and I don't like you or respect you any less if you never do.  You are my friend and my brother in Christ, and that's not changing

[SomeKittens]

Another relevant part of that movie is when he finds out he won't be able to run in the Olympics, but plunges in to the next challenge, without knowing what a bobsled is.  God knows His plans for you, and all He asks is that you pursue Him.

[uthminister [BR]]

Love ya man...regardless of what you are or are not doing currently. Hang in there!

[3-Liner And Bags Of Chips]

One of my favorite movies is "Cool Runnings" about the Jamaican Olympic bobsled team.

Feel the rhythm
feel the rhyme
Get on up, its bobsled time!

[TechnoEthicist]

I am no longer a doctoral student..trying not to feel ashamed or a failure...

One of my favorite movies is "Cool Runnings" about the Jamaican Olympic bobsled team.  There is a line in there where the coach is talking to the team captain about what it feels like to win a gold medal.  He says, "If you are not enough without the gold medal, you'll never be enough with one."  I think the same thing could apply to having extra letters like PhD next to your name.

For what it's worth, I wouldn't like you or respect you any more if you earned those letters, and I don't like you or respect you any less if you never do.  You are my friend and my brother in Christ, and that's not changing

While I appreciate that greatly, my credibility does rely on those letters in terms of people who I have to convince to change how things currently are. They want to talk to an expert in the field, not just someone who took some classes...and no I don't believe my Master's is enough credentials...so angry and confused right now, my current program removed me when they heard I was looking elsewhere...I just want to know what the next steps are...

[soul seeker]

...so angry and confused right now, my current program removed me when they heard I was looking elsewhere...I just want to know what the next steps are...

I thought you said on facebook that you were still in the program or did I misunderstand what you were posting?

[TechnoEthicist]

At that moment I thought I was, but it turns out I was not, it's all very confusing....

[Prof Underwood]

While I appreciate that greatly, my credibility does rely on those letters in terms of people who I have to convince to change how things currently are. They want to talk to an expert in the field, not just someone who took some classes...and no I don't believe my Master's is enough credentials...

You'd be surprised what you can accomplish without the "proper credentials".  I've personally done a lot of things in my life that I wasn't technically qualified on paper for.  Just keep following God and you'll be surprised what doors He will open.

so angry and confused right now, my current program removed me when they heard I was looking elsewhere...I just want to know what the next steps are...

Speaking of following God... As long as you were following God when you were "looking elsewhere", then the program dropping you is all part of His good and perfect plan for you life.  Just keep following and you'll end up in the right place

[YourMathTeacher]

Relevant example from my life:

I was teaching in Maryland at a Christian school. People kept telling me that I should be a preacher. I decided to look into possible Youth Pastor positions to see if I even qualified. I got called into the Pastor's office (the school was run by a big-time church). He told me that he heard I was searching for a Youth Pastor position, but that he needed people to be loyal to him and his school. He gave me an ultimatum to drop the interviews. I decided to give my notice that I would not be returning. I was highly offended by his very negative confrontation. I had thought a pastor would encourage other believers into ministry.

I had to scramble from there, and found a Youth Pastor position, but the denomination's beliefs were very unique and it did not work out. I then went back to teaching, this time in the public schools.

The year after I left, the school was involved in a huge basketball recruiting scandal. The pastor was being investigated for other issues, and was removed. I think God got me out of there just in the nick of time.    My wife's father ended up having a heart attack while I was Youth Pastoring, so the move from Maryland to Virginia Beach seemed appropriate to everyone involved. We moved in with my wife's parents to help take care of her father until he passed away three years later. God's timing for that was also just right. We were glad to be there for him in his final years.

For you, this whole mess may be frustrating, but trust that God needs you somewhere else right now, and that is where you will be glad you ended up, once the smoke finally clears and His intentions are fully realized.

[TechnoEthicist]

A month later, and I am much calmer (despite what my facebook status posts ). Off to a research conference for the week to New Orleans to clear my head and see what grad students like me as well as other researchers in higher education are thinking about and being paid to study. I have a presentation to give on Saturday, and several events where I am the facilitator.  Praying for clarity, safe travels,  and to remember what my call is...to defend the gate of access of higher education for every student regardless of race or income (see talks by Lakita Garth about the gates we are to defend against the world). In other words:

Micah 6:8b
"To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly[a] with your God."

Thank you all for your love and support!