Prayers for a friend

[MichaelHue]

My friend Marisa has been having a rough time lately with her family.  I don't really know the whole situation, but evidently her parents are being ridiculously controlling and mistrustful of her (to the point of digging through her trash, calling the police on her, taking her possessions, etc.).  I think her mom at least considers herself a Christian, but I don't think she is at all a good example from what I've heard about Marisa's relationship with her parents.  I think she is struggling a lot with wanting to rebel against anything her parents want, by dating someone they disapprove of and even becoming an atheist.  I think this may be more because of the negative experiences she's had with her mom's "Christianity", but recently I've been involved in a discussion on facebook with her about faith and the existence of God.  

She doesn't seem willing yet to accept what I've been saying, but I think she is still interested in talking, if only to try to prove me wrong.  I think God is giving me an opportunity to witness to her, so please pray that God would give me wisdom and speak through me, and also that she would have an open mind and be receptive to what is said by myself and others.  This is the first time I've really done this kind of explaining my faith to someone else in this situation, so I would appreciate your prayers.  I think it's almost a good thing that the discussion is over the internet, as it gives me time to formulate my thoughts and write meaningful answers to her questions.  As such, I may ask you guys for advice, and I would appreciate any input.

Thank you all.

[Prof Underwood]

My thoughts:

1 - Parents don't start digging through their kid's trash and calling the cops all of a sudden.  There has probably been a pattern on the part of your friend of losing trust that has led them to this point.  Be wary of believing everything she tells you.  She may not be trying to lie to you, but she most certainly will be seeing things from a vastly biased perspective.

2 - A teenage girl raised in a Christian home doesn't date a "bad guy" and become an atheist all of a sudden either.  There has probably been a series of events in her life that have gradually led to this point of utter rebellion.  Some of those experiences have probably been very painful.  Therefore, it is most likely that getting her to change the direction of her life from being away from God to being toward God, will probably be less a matter of convincing her logically and more a matter of her dealing with her emotions.

3 - When it comes to dealing with the emotions of a teenage girl, it is usually not the best idea for a teenage guy to be the primary person trying to counsel them.

4 - It could be good for you to go through the process of apologetics for the first time.  This is a great way to really analyze what you believe and why you believe it.  However, it is also best to do this with someone else who is more experienced with this sort of thing.  Otherwise you may find that you'll come to some questions that you don't yet have answers for, and without guidance you could end up getting lost yourself.  The Bible talks about the "blind leading the blind".

5 - I would recommend that you seek the help of a youth pastor, minister, Christian teacher, etc. who knows both of you, to assist you in this.  If you can't find anyone like that, then I would be willing to join your discussion on FB for a time to see if I could help out.  I have a lot of experience with apologetics (although again I'm not sure that is what your friend really needs) and these sorts of situations.  Just let me know if you would like my help.

[MichaelHue]

My thoughts:

1 - Parents don't start digging through their kid's trash and calling the cops all of a sudden.  There has probably been a pattern on the part of your friend of losing trust that has led them to this point.  Be wary of believing everything she tells you.  She may not be trying to lie to you, but she most certainly will be seeing things from a vastly biased perspective.

2 - A teenage girl raised in a Christian home doesn't date a "bad guy" and become an atheist all of a sudden either.  There has probably been a series of events in her life that have gradually led to this point of utter rebellion.  Some of those experiences have probably been very painful.  Therefore, it is most likely that getting her to change the direction of her life from being away from God to being toward God, will probably be less a matter of convincing her logically and more a matter of her dealing with her emotions.

3 - When it comes to dealing with the emotions of a teenage girl, it is usually not the best idea for a teenage guy to be the primary person trying to counsel them.

4 - It could be good for you to go through the process of apologetics for the first time.  This is a great way to really analyze what you believe and why you believe it.  However, it is also best to do this with someone else who is more experienced with this sort of thing.  Otherwise you may find that you'll come to some questions that you don't yet have answers for, and without guidance you could end up getting lost yourself.  The Bible talks about the "blind leading the blind".

5 - I would recommend that you seek the help of a youth pastor, minister, Christian teacher, etc. who knows both of you, to assist you in this.  If you can't find anyone like that, then I would be willing to join your discussion on FB for a time to see if I could help out.  I have a lot of experience with apologetics (although again I'm not sure that is what your friend really needs) and these sorts of situations.  Just let me know if you would like my help.

I guess I should make it clear that I don't really know all the circumstances surrounding her behavior.  I'm not really a close friend of hers, I used to know her and am friends with her on facebook.  The situation with her family isn't really related to the discussion I'm having with her, though, I just wanted to give some background information.  She isn't involved in my church or youth group or anything, so there's not a youth pastor or teacher who knows both of us.  I'm not sure what you mean by saying that it's not the best idea for a teenage guy to be the "primary person" counseling her.  It's a public discussion on her wall that I contributed to along with several others, and she's responding to people's comments.  I absolutely agree that she isn't giving people a full and objective view of her family's issues.  I wouldn't have gotten involved in the situation at all if it hadn't moved away from those issues to just religious questions.  I appreciate your offer to help, and I will certainly ask for your and others' advice if I have questions.  I think what she needs most at this point is probably prayer, but I still feel like I should try to answer her questions about these issues.

[Prof Underwood]

That actually all sounds pretty good.  I agree with you that if she's asking questions in a public discussion on her FB wall, that it is a good idea for you to join in and try to answer them.  I'll pray for God to give you the words to say there