Maw-wage

[SomeKittens]

On top of my previous post, God has spoken to me three times in the past 24hrs. about marriage.  Without getting into specifics, I don't think I'm ready in the least.  I'm 19, for Pete's sake!
If you guys could ask for guidance/hearing/whatever, that'd be a great help.  God listens to His people, and maybe you could let Him know I'm not ready yet.

[BubbleBoy]

19 may be an uncommonly early age to get married in our society, but it isn't in a lot of places (and times). And in fact, I think it is better to get married while you are still kind of deciding who you are (in other words as early as possible), because then you can kind of "meld together" more easily with your spouse, and it will define you more...if that makes any sense.

But hey, don't listen to me. I'm only 16. I'll still be praying for you though.

[Red]

19 may be an uncommonly early age to get married in our society, but it isn't in a lot of places (and times). And in fact, I think it is better to get married while you are still kind of deciding who you are (in other words as early as possible), because then you can kind of "meld together" more easily with your spouse, and it will define you more...if that makes any sense.

But hey, don't listen to me. I'm only 16. I'll still be praying for you though.

My mom got married young...to my dad.

[ACe]

i married when i was 23 and my wife was 18 we were high school sweet hearts me senior her freshman when we started dating and we will be married 2 yrs this june 28

[BubbleBoy]

19 may be an uncommonly early age to get married in our society, but it isn't in a lot of places (and times). And in fact, I think it is better to get married while you are still kind of deciding who you are (in other words as early as possible), because then you can kind of "meld together" more easily with your spouse, and it will define you more...if that makes any sense.

But hey, don't listen to me. I'm only 16. I'll still be praying for you though.

My mom got married young...to my dad.

My mom got married young...to a pickle.

Seriously though, my parents got married when they were I believe about 30, and I've heard my dad say many times that he wishes he had gotten married even sooner. It's easier to form a strong bond when you are young.

i married when i was 23 and my wife was 18 we were high school sweet hearts me senior her freshman when we started dating and we will be married 2 yrs this june 28

That's really cool.

[Bryon]

I married my wife when I was 21 and my wife was 20.  We were engaged when I was 20 and she was 19.  We'd been dating since I was 16.6 and she was 15.9.  We were both fairly mature, good students, responsible, and fairly strong in our faith.  I think that makes a difference, but each situation is different.  It is wise to let God lead you though His Spirit and though your spiritual mentors.

[xCaLeBx]

My mom got married young...to a pickle.

LOL I'm not sure you understand what you implied there....

[TheKarazyvicePresidentRR]

I married my wife when I was 21 and my wife was 20.  We were engaged when I was 20 and she was 19.  We'd been dating since I was 16.6 and she was 15.9.  We were both fairly mature, good students, responsible, and fairly strong in our faith.  I think that makes a difference, but each situation is different.  It is wise to let God lead you though His Spirit and though your spiritual mentors.

Amen.

Also, don't get married if your best man has ticked of a Spaniard by killing his Dad.

[SomeKittens]

Also, don't get married if your best man has ticked of a Spaniard by killing his Dad.

Absolute wyn.

God listens to His people, and maybe you could let Him know I'm not ready yet.

The rest of you seem to have missed it.  Great encouragement, but I still don't know if I want to get married at all, much less now.

[Prof Underwood]

Also, don't get married if your best man has ticked off a Spaniard by killing his Dad.

Or if your hired Cicilian is found poisoned near the Guilder frontier.

More seriously, you shouldn't get married until you can answer all the below is true:

Other advice regarding how to know that she's the one:
1. You can commit to love her the rest of your life even if none of those annoying things about her ever change.
2. You can commit to love her the rest of your life even if some of the great things about her do change.
3. Your relationship with her brings you closer to God and doesn't push you farther away from him.
4. Your differences are in the minor things and your similarities are in the major things.
5. You are totally honest with her and she with you.
6. You can resolve problems with each other constructively.
7. You have fun together.
8. You help each other to grow to be better people.
9. You are not only both Christians, but are also of approximately equal spiritual depth.
10. You have compatible "life callings" from God (ie. not 1 called to be a jungle missionary and the other called to be a corporate lawyer)

[BubbleBoy]

God listens to His people, and maybe you could let Him know I'm not ready yet.

The rest of you seem to have missed it.  Great encouragement, but I still don't know if I want to get married at all, much less now.

I didn't miss anything, and neither does God. He knows whether or not you are ready for marriage better than you do, and you don't need to "let Him know" that you aren't ready.

[SomeKittens]

After the third indicator, which was something that has never happened here at Master's Commission, I thought: "Hey, I'll just post this to the guys on the forum.  They'll tell me I'm way too young/poor/bad of a Redemption player to get married."
Then this.  I can tell Jesus was a carpenter, sometimes He accentuates His points with a 2x4
Prof, I can't answer fully no to any of them, but I can't answer fully yes to one of them.  The first two are also iffy, due to my take on commitment: Very rarely commit, but when I do, full research beforehand (yes, I'm a nerd like that), and then full committal, nothing less.  That'll be useful after marriage, but now it's a bit of a liability.  There's a bit of my brain jumping up and down, yelling "WHAT IF!  WHAT IF!".  I'd love to poke him out with a stick, but he's right too often.

[Prof Underwood]

...They'll tell me I'm way too young/poor/bad of a Redemption player to get married."...Prof, I can't answer...fully yes to one of them...

In that case, you're too young/poor/bad of a Redemption player to get married

[Alex_Olijar]

I can answer yes to 8 of them about my girlfriend, and don't say no to any of them. Does that mean I should get married anytime soon? Probably not. .

Just making the point that since I don't know SomeKittenses (Yes, I am a Hobbit, deal with it) scenario, I will refrain advise. Though, those guidelines are definately pretty good.

[BlazerCC]

for myself i can answer Yes to all but one. the one i can not say yes to is 9, i have felt called to become a DCE for the past 2 years. I have had over a 100% in every religon class sence 6th grade, this includes the normal bible stories, a Church docrine class to a class that we explore and learn about other religons. and the Girl I am Dating right now is really a dream. but she is no where near that. everyones faith grows in a different way and this is not a messurable thing. i do agree that you both should have a same faith but there is really no way to be at tthe same spitiual depth.

[BubbleBoy]

Regarding Prof U's list, I think it's a great guideline for deciding generally where you're at marriage-wise. However, marriage is not something that you can avoid having troubles with by doing your research. There will always be problems, in some marriages more than others. I am by no means an expert on marriage, but I can can derive from everything I have seen throughout my life that marriage is something you get better at over time; you learn on the job. You could spend valuable time and money going to college for 12 years to become a lawyer or a doctor or whatever, but most of the time you can learn more in one day on the job than you can in one month of studying, paper-writing, and test-taking. The same goes with marriage. Just start. It'll get better over time.

Anyway, that's my . Again, I'm not the most experienced person there is in this area, and I probably didn't say everything quite as well as I could have, but this is something I believe with all my heart, and I hope you at least take it into consideration when making your decision.

[COUNTER_SNIPER]

Hey SomeKittens,

I kinda know how your feeling although I'm not sure if there's a special lady in your life right now (there is but isn't in mine if you catch my drift...).  In general, I would say that if you're uncomfortable with marriage at the moment, then maybe God's trying to tell YOU that you're not ready.  It seems almost daily that I have this conflict in my mind: I'm told that I would be a pretty good Father (And husband too I suppose), but I personally don't feel that I could give the proper respect and love to anyone right now.  I'd like to think I could, but right now I'm not so sure.  It's like a love/hate kind of thing for me; the idea blows my mind but it terrifies me at the same time.  Plus, I've only ever met one girl that truly took my breath away, but our paths aren't destined to go the same route.  Marriage is a very serious thing to consider.  I personally want to be right the first time and I'm just trusting that God will whack me up side the head and it be like "That's her!! Right there!! You're ready and so is she!!," but spiritually I need to mature some more and I need to clean up a few things before I can be anywhere near ready.  I'll be praying that God leads you and shows you when and how you need to go about this.  Never jump into a decision where you and God don't seem to be on the **EDIT** same **EDIT** page.  Continue praying and meditating on God's Word and He shall lead you...

-C_S (Aka Josh)

[BubbleBoy]

-C_S

At first I was like, "What the heck is wrong with your face?!"

[COUNTER_SNIPER]

-C_S

At first I was like, "What the heck is wrong with your face?!"

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!   

[The Warrior]

-C_S

At first I was like, "What the heck is wrong with your face?!"

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!   

i dont get it 

[COUNTER_SNIPER]

-C_S

At first I was like, "What the heck is wrong with your face?!"

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!   

i dont get it 

He thought I was trying to make a smiley face, but it's my username initials...

[SomeKittens]

...They'll tell me I'm way too young/poor/bad of a Redemption player to get married."...Prof, I can't answer...fully yes to one of them...

In that case, you're too young/poor/bad of a Redemption player to get married

Much better.

[YourMathTeacher]

Other advice regarding how to know that she's the one:
1. You can commit to love her the rest of your life even if none of those annoying things about her ever change.
2. You can commit to love her the rest of your life even if some of the great things about her do change.
3. Your relationship with her brings you closer to God and doesn't push you farther away from him.
4. Your differences are in the minor things and your similarities are in the major things.
5. You are totally honest with her and she with you.
6. You can resolve problems with each other constructively.
7. You have fun together.
8. You help each other to grow to be better people.
9. You are not only both Christians, but are also of approximately equal spiritual depth.
10. You have compatible "life callings" from God (ie. not 1 called to be a jungle missionary and the other called to be a corporate lawyer)

I only met six of those conditions when I got married almost 17 years ago. I guess I better dump her, quick.   

Then again, she's really hot, so I guess I'll keep her. 

[SomeKittens]

I've been praying and seeking on my own, and I've only determined one thing: I need help.  Maybe it was wrong of me to ask you guys, (you've been nothing but helpful) or maybe I'm just messed up beyond belief.
Two things are for sure:
1.) I'm going to get married sometime in the future
2.) I really, really don't want to.

[YourMathTeacher]

I fell under the category that Paul called "Better to marry than to burn!"