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Letters to the Thessalonians —> change “Thessalonian” to “Thessalonica” (see Jason)It doesn't actually matter since they both mean the same thing, though it should be consistent.Shrine to Artemus —> Shrine to ArtemisYeah, should be changed based on the verse, possibly a spelling from a different version.Missionary Ship —> by-line should have a hyphen in-between “Set” and “Aside"Set-aside is an ability and Set Aside is a location, to my knowledge.Silas —> “topdeck up to X cards from bottom of YOUR deck", perhaps?Default is your location when it does not specify.Timothy —> art should be updated (blurry/old-looking when Timothy should look awesome! )I like that art, and think it isn't blurry but just the period/style, but I can understand that.Barsabbas —> there is no Letter to Gentile BelieversWell then, right now, he can't search for it is all Fortunatus —> special ability is unfinishedI had commented on that one, the last word is 'interrupted' for reference.Noblewomen —> should it be “Noble Women”?Either should be acceptable.Faithfulness —> does “withdraw” include underdeck?It does not.Self Control —> should have a hyphen between the words in the Card Name/TitleProbably based on the verse.Stand Firm —> should “heretic” be capitalized?That would be consistent yes.Demetrius the Silversmith —> “characters” should be capitalizedI don't think just the word "characters" gets capitalized normally, could be wrong.Seized by Rioters —> should be 2/2, 2 heroes and 2 turns, if basing it off of the verse, because only 2 men were dragged along (Gaius and Aristarchus)Paul was also involved and 'taken out of action' due to fear of the disciples per later verses, but I can see that point too.Worldly Wisdom —> should “scholar” and “philosopher” be capitalized?Not sure it it has to be for that one, good question.Antonius Felix —> there is no DrusillaWell then, right now, he can't band is all The god of this World —> draws 1 fewer, not lessEnglish is silly. This could be either.Spirit of Fear --> change art (inappropriate/immodest, imo)I'm going to bring this up, as there is cause to discuss it based on the history of the piece.Shipwreck —> capitalize “site”I think that is right, but I can't keep track of capitalizations myself...
My notes:Areopagus:It says it holds an Artifact that Depicts an Idol, which is fine, but it might make sense to just say "Holds an Idol", it would lose out on a couple of curses (Captured Ark and Unknown Nation come to mind) but makes the ability a little nicer and less reliant on the card art.It's ability also says "... each player must draw 1" you could reword that section to "...each player draws 1" and it would mean the same thing.I think the first part is fine as-is, but the second uses 'must' to indicate that it is mandatory and avoid confusion.Mark: the word "enhancement" is in his ability twice, once it is capitalized and the other time it isn't (neither time is it the first word in a sentence)Good point.Crispus: Why is he a priest? From what I can tell he is just a leader of a Synagogue, which I don't believe is the same as being a priest.You cannot lead a Jewish synagogue without being a priest, to my knowledge.Phoebe: The ability works, but as it is worded you are discarding enhancements in play to draw cards, so if it was intended to discard from hand to draw you'd have to reword it.Based on discussions, that is the intent (to discard ones in play).Spirit of Fear: While not technically incorrect, it says "Withdraw all heroes. Rescuing..." While every other similar ability says "Withdraw all heroes in battle..."It is acceptable as it is because Withdraw has an interesting default condition that "in battle" actually restricts.
May I make an aesthetic proofread?
Using the same artwork and card frame for both Secundus and Aristarchus looks confusing, either change one of the frames or one of the art choices (I'm not gonna just say "change the art" without offering an alternative, so for Secundus I recommend this piece.
For Barsabbas, this classic image of Saint Joseph Justus Barsabbas is not as brutal on the eye
No saul/paul...
Areopagus - Unless the idea is to only provide protection during battle, it should be "from opponents' good cards" not "opponent's".This is not necessarily needed, as pointed out in other threads. Outside of battle, 'opponent's' refers to any other opponent, and is used on a lot of other cards already.Silas - In the identifier, most previous cards don't have identifiers capitalized like titles (first letter of "important" words capitalized) so I think it's more consistent to have it say "X = # of your missionaries" (same could be said for Areopagus, actually, and Noblewomen). If the convention is changed starting with this set I guess it's better to be consistent, but I think the old capitalization (or really, lack thereof) looks better. I've never really cared as much about the capitalization, as I feel it is less of an issue, but I agree it should be consistent where able.Luke - Current wording allows you to underdeck the card you just used to pay his cost (if it's a Luke or Acts card), is that the intention? Doesn't seem like as much of a cost if you're able to immediately put the paid card back in your deck. Admittedly this has less impact until later in the game when you might be decked out.That was intentional, though I agree that it is a concern and have suggested alternatives as well....Barsabbas - Seems to fit with the missionary theme but isn't a missionary himself? Not sure if that's an oversight or if he's just actually not a missionary. Also, as long as there's going to be a card called "Letter to Gentile Believers" then his ability is fine, just not sure if it's an oversight and is referencing a card that received a name change lol.Yeah, he SHOULD be a missionary by any definition I can see, that should be added. And, not an oversight ...Achaicus - The semicolon isn't grammatically correct. It should either be a colon (which has other connotations in Redemption) or the "put Lost Souls in play..." phrase should be a separate sentence. I'd vote for separate sentence based on older cards with similar abilities. It could also be replaced with "and" and I'd be fine with that option as well (to make the ability "reveal ... and put Lost Souls ...."I'm not a fan of the old wording, and while it may not be 'grammatically' correct the use of punctuation on shortened-wording cards is not going to be precise as if you were writing a paper. Still, I would prefer a colon instead there and leaving it the way it is otherwise....Burning of Magic Books - "Magician(s)" in card text, much like prophet or angel or disciple, is not usually capitalized.Agreed....Eye On It - Kind of an odd card name, but may just take getting used to. Same colon issue as Achaicus/Noblewomen/Sowing Bountifully.Refers to keeping your eye on the prize (as a runner intending to win the race). Otherwise, I actually prefer semicolon here, since there is already a colon, but that's me.Miracle at Troas - I believe "artifacts" is usually capitalized in card texts because it's a card type (like Enhancement is always capitalized).I think you're right on that one too....Drunkenness - The identifier spells out the word "number" when all other cards use "#" instead. Consistency should be kept here.Not as concerned about that part as I am about the ability...Angry Mob cards - Each has the identifier that you can have up to 4 per 50. They have different art and different brigades so are they considered different cards for deck building? As such, would you actually be able to have 12 total Angry Mobs (4 of each brigade) per 50 cards in your deck?No. They say you may have 4 Angry Mob cards in your deck per 50 cards. That overrides all deckbuilding rules and establishes new ones just for this card name....The god of This World - I think it might need to be "1 fewer" rather than "1 less" but I'm not sure.English is silly. This could be either and be fine at getting the point across.Messenger of Satan - Not an issue, but I just wanted to point out that I'm SO EXCITED we finally have demon support that draws from bottom of deck. I've been waiting for that kind of ability! Staple for sure. He also is CBP and bands to humans, something demons desperately wanted......
Should Love only target a NT human you control?
Quote from: LukeChips on October 27, 2014, 11:04:57 AMNo saul/paul...1. Where is Saul/Paul? I would like to see that one as soon as possible.As stated above, absolutely no need for a new one, it wouldn't make sense no matter what you printed. Old one is already so powerful, and you'd have to make a 'better' one. 2. Drunkenness is a great enhancement card if the SA stays the same I would very much disagree. This is one I am advocating changes, because it also includes your initial 3, includes cards your opponent causes you to draw, and can be played off of Mayhem (no matter whose it is) to get rid of an entire hand. Losing your hand is the same as losing the game in most games. Even a few cards randomly lost (and shuffled CBI, no less) is far more powerful than anything we have now for a good reason.3. Where is Drusilla??Not an oversight, but if you were to print him now, why not add the band so you can print her later and have it mean something? Forward thinking is good here.4. Should there be more Lost Soul cards 1 or 2 more in the Phase 2 set??? The set focuses on establishing new themes and bolstering Clay, not to add more Souls (though more would be fun to me.
That is a good point for Drunkenness enhancement that redoubter makes.Maybe there should be a limit of 3 instead. Like words of discouragement.
Angry Mob shouldn't be printed.
I like the new Angry Mob(s) over the old one because with this new one at least I can discard characters from opponents, too, rather than just discarding my own character when the spinning would inevitably point at me. >_>
