Author Topic: So what exactly is an open relationship?  (Read 10448 times)

Offline sk

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #25 on: June 24, 2009, 04:26:40 PM »
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Of course, you're assuming he wasn't PM'd, that his use of "assume" is the one in the dictionary, and that assuming is a bad thing.

It's not if it's reasonable.
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The Schaef

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #26 on: June 24, 2009, 05:08:06 PM »
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Agreed.  There's no universal law against reasonable assumptions based on the available facts.  It's when there is NO basis that they are dubious.

Offline crustpope

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #27 on: June 24, 2009, 05:42:59 PM »
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Schaef and I share the same mind so there was no need to PM.  He was dead on (of course he was, being linked to my mind in such a way as he is) in what I was trying to say.

If Irony is your thing, then smilies are your friends...especially this one ;)


BTW.  Since Schaef and I share the same mind, any criticisim or arguments you see me having with Schaef are actually the internal ramblings of our combined head.  We post them online just to throw you guys off.

Oh, and Schaef...Im hungry...but of course you know that.
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Offline Master KChief

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #28 on: June 24, 2009, 06:55:17 PM »
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and you probably already knew he told you to go make a sandwich or something. :)
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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #29 on: June 24, 2009, 08:40:01 PM »
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It's my understanding that I wouldn't like him when he's... hungry.

Offline Claude

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #30 on: June 25, 2009, 10:56:37 PM »
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It was not sarcasm.

And I did not say assuming is a bad thing. You assumed that.
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Offline crustpope

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #31 on: June 25, 2009, 11:28:23 PM »
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It was not sarcasm.

And I did not say assuming is a bad thing. You assumed that.

Whatever dude, I have no idea what you mean because you are either literally advocating that an "open" realationship as described by the previous posts is a good thing, or you are being sarcastic.  Since you arent being sarcastic (as per your post) I can only conclude that "as long as people are still having promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners without protection while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free environment" You'll be "sound as a pound"

So enjoy your hollow open relationships while I enjoy my truly fulfilling and satisfying monogamous relationship with my smokin hot wife.
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Offline TimMierz

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #32 on: June 25, 2009, 11:50:08 PM »
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I enjoy my truly fulfilling and satisfying monogamous relationship with my smokin hot wife.

I thought only YMT had one of those!
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Offline crustpope

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #33 on: June 25, 2009, 11:50:56 PM »
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No he has a hot wife...mine is SMOKIN hot!   ;)
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Offline Claude

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #34 on: June 25, 2009, 11:56:12 PM »
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Why would I enjoy my hollow open relationships? Who said I have one? Your putting words into my mouth.




No he has a hot wife...mine is SMOKIN hot!   ;)
Wow. That's a great way to speak to a lady... why dont you just call her toots?
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Offline crustpope

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #35 on: June 26, 2009, 12:04:30 AM »
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Why would I enjoy my hollow open relationships? Who said I have one? Your putting words into my mouth.

Umm no I am not.  I said you can enjoy your ....blah blah blah.  I didnt say you currently had one to enjoy.  I am not putting words in your mouth...unless they are your words (see your quote below)

It's a casual relationship... a friends with benefits type of thing. It's actually pretty cool

No he has a hot wife...mine is SMOKIN hot!   ;)

Quote
Wow. That's a great way to speak to a lady... why dont you just call her toots?

You are assuming I dont  ;).


Seriously, I have no idea how to take you any more.  You are a complete conundrum to me.
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Offline Colin Michael

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #36 on: June 26, 2009, 12:08:45 AM »
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Why are open relationships necessarily more shallow than committed relationships?

On the contrary, committed relationships are often built on lies and thus are usually found out to be shallow post hoc.
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Offline CountFount

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #37 on: June 26, 2009, 12:35:08 AM »
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Why are open relationships necessarily more shallow than committed relationships?

On the contrary, committed relationships are often built on lies and thus are usually found out to be shallow post hoc.

Man was created in the image of God. The purpose of man being created was to have immortality and eternal life. Christ reflected this effort of God for man. Thus Christ is the way, the truth and the life. He defines all three and they define him. Our efforts as Christians, followers of Christ, is to follow him. Make decisions about our life, how we live them, based upon his way, his truth and his life. To make decisions based upon another standard, such as how man fails to fulfill divine institutions and plans, is to have a standard other than Christ. It is plain from the word of God that Christ doesn't advocate this behavior.

Now having said that. You are not to trust in the arm of flesh, man. There is a much more exciting and fulfilling path. The path of discovery in the word of God. Seek out the answers there.

James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
6 but let him ask in faith, nothing wavering; for he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.
7 For let not that man think that he shall receive anything of the Lord.

You have received sincere testimonies of well intentioned brothers in this fellowship, but the testimony and answers you seek will be made strong as you seek from the Lord and see the multitude of witnesses which the word of God can give you. Consider the pain you see in the patterns of the stories of Polygamy in the Bible (Open relationships to you and me). Nations born out of this pattern of behavior, which now thousands of years later have evolved to war (Arabs and Jews).

Pray about it, Study and be blessed. My prayers are with you.
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Offline Colin Michael

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #38 on: June 26, 2009, 12:41:39 AM »
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Well, since Jesus was never sought female companionship (as far as we know), I don't see any relevance. You seem to be making your argument from your beliefs, assuming that they are the beliefs of everyone else, rather than making an argument for your beliefs.
« Last Edit: June 26, 2009, 12:44:16 AM by Colin Michael »
αθαvαTOι θvηTOι θvηTOι αθαvαTOι ζwvTεs TOv εKειvwv θαvαTov Tov δε εKεivwv βιOv TεθvεwTεs -Heraclitus

The Schaef

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #39 on: June 26, 2009, 06:30:05 AM »
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It was not sarcasm.

Then we're back to the fact that you contradicted yourself in saying that open relationships are cool, and then agreeing with me in criticizing them.

Quote
Why would I enjoy my hollow open relationships?

Because you specifically said they were pretty cool.

Quote
And I did not say assuming is a bad thing. You assumed that.

It was a reasonable assumption based on your implication.  And I think we've all had enough of this tangent.

Why are open relationships necessarily more shallow than committed relationships?

I gave some rather extensive commentary explaining my thoughts on this, I think the conversation would be better served to move forward from that point rather than asking me to repeat what I've already explained in detail.

Quote
On the contrary, committed relationships are often built on lies and thus are usually found out to be shallow post hoc.

I would submit that if you're lying, then you're not making a real commitment to that person.  This seems like a meager attempt to marginalize the idea of the committed relationship by focusing on the noncommittal actions of some.  That's like saying atheists are better human beings than Christians because some people do the "church routine" without having a conversion event or genuinely engaging God.

Offline CountFount

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #40 on: June 26, 2009, 08:38:07 AM »
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Well, since Jesus was never sought female companionship (as far as we know), I don't see any relevance. You seem to be making your argument from your beliefs, assuming that they are the beliefs of everyone else, rather than making an argument for your beliefs.

Christ is in a continual search for female companionship and it is not open to any another female.

(Revelation 19:5-9)
5 And a voice came out of the throne, saying, Praise our God, all ye his servants, and ye that fear him, both small and great.
6 And I heard as it were the voice of a great multitude, and as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of mighty thunderings, saying, Alleluia: for the Lord God omnipotent reigneth.
7 Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready.
8 And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints.
9 And he saith unto me, Write, Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he saith unto me, These are the true sayings of God.

He is the pattern for how we find our companions and our care for them.

(Ephesians 5:25-33)
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it (it not them);
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. 

Remember, I am not trying to talk you out of your desires but I am trying to get you to search the word of God.

(Matthew 4:4)
4 But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.

Try to base your beliefs on the word of God rather than what is becoming popular in this world. God Bless your search. :)
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Offline Claude

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #41 on: June 26, 2009, 09:38:28 AM »
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It was not sarcasm.

Then we're back to the fact that you contradicted yourself in saying that open relationships are cool, and then agreeing with me in criticizing them.

 how?


Quote
Quote
Why would I enjoy my hollow open relationships?

Because you specifically said they were pretty cool.

I think fire is cool... would I enjoy burning?
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Offline Colin Michael

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #42 on: June 26, 2009, 01:29:59 PM »
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I don't believe the Bible is the word of God, so that argument doesn't really work for me.

Also, Christ's metaphorical wife is not equivocal to a twenty-first century American dating experience except in that we are to love our wives as he loves the church (us). A liberal/progressive translation could equivocate this to dating, but even this would not promote monogamous dating.


Quote
I would submit that if you're lying, then you're not making a real commitment to that person.  This seems like a meager attempt to marginalize the idea of the committed relationship by focusing on the noncommittal actions of some.  That's like saying atheists are better human beings than Christians because some people do the "church routine" without having a conversion event or genuinely engaging God.

I wasn't making a universal at all, I was merely speaking from both potential and experience. Because of both of these in combination, I've developed a general distrust of people in committed relationships. Thus, the attraction to a relationship where everything is out in the open and "free".

Suppose someone grew up in a charismatic church which they later realised was built on lies and self-deception. Could those people be blamed for going to a liturgical church and embracing the routine? (True story, my brother and I were both there and did.)
« Last Edit: June 26, 2009, 01:36:54 PM by Colin Michael »
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Offline CountFount

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #43 on: June 26, 2009, 01:35:22 PM »
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I don't believe the Bible is the word of God, so that argument doesn't really work for me.

I feel bad for you. You are missing out on a great opportunity to search and prove it through the ministry of the Holy Spirit. I will pray for you.
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Offline Colin Michael

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #44 on: June 26, 2009, 01:38:34 PM »
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I don't believe the Bible is the word of God, so that argument doesn't really work for me.

I feel bad for you. You are missing out on a great opportunity to search and prove it through the ministry of the Holy Spirit. I will pray for you.

I have a college-level Bible education and have been raised by a family in the ministry. I've read it and tested it pretty well, I think.
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Offline Cameron the Conqueror

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #45 on: June 26, 2009, 01:41:08 PM »
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and that means you are qualified that state that the Bible is untrue?  No, that is your opinion.  The fact that you have an education doesn't mean you understand or know it.  Does your family agree with you?

Offline CountFount

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #46 on: June 26, 2009, 01:47:52 PM »
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I try to limit my advice on life's path to the bible. My personal advice is meaningless in the big scope. Nice to know where you stand.
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Offline Colin Michael

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #47 on: June 26, 2009, 01:48:48 PM »
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and that means you are qualified that state that the Bible is untrue?  No, that is your opinion.  The fact that you have an education doesn't mean you understand or know it.  Does your family agree with you?
First of all, I did not say that the Bible is untrue, I simply said that I do not believe it to be divinely authoured or inerrant. In response to this CountFount made the argument that the Bible proves itself when tested. To respond to this, I provided an ethos by citing my education and family background (showing that I have had experience "testing" it). The fact that I have a Bible education does mean that I understand and know it. Isn't it a given that someone educated about a matter will have a better understanding or knowledge about it than someone uneducated about it? And yes, this is my opinion; however, it is an educated opinion, which trumps and uneducated opinion.
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Offline Cameron the Conqueror

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #48 on: June 26, 2009, 01:50:43 PM »
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So you only believe that parts of the Bible are true.  Or do you believe it all is?

Offline Colin Michael

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Re: So what exactly is an open relationship?
« Reply #49 on: June 26, 2009, 01:52:36 PM »
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So you only believe that parts of the Bible are true.  Or do you believe it all is?
I don't believe that everything is necessarily true or false.
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