After living in this muck for so long, I feel like I can't see beauty in anything anymore, and it really scares me...I wish there was just a life restart button. If I could find such a thing, I would press it immediately...Last thing I'll say, am I crazy?
No, you're not crazy, but I do think you've lost sight of some important things. Yes, there are a lot of things about this world that are messed up, but there is still the fingerprint of God in His creation. The more I learn about the science behind the natural world, the more I am impressed with the awesomeness of God.
And yes there are times that it seems like restarting life might be a good idea. But there are lessons that you have learned in your life that you wouldn't want to lose. God has a plan for your entire life, and that includes the part that you've already lived. Don't lose confidence in His plan. Read Jeremiah 29:11.